At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
That chick keeps sending eggplant emojis
Welcome to dating in the digital age. Better catch up now that you’re divorced
and eggplant is code for penis. It means she’s DTF. Go get her tiger!!!
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