No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
Just pee around me
Try explaining "the nature of your relationship" to a cop when your fuck buddy vandalized your car. Priceless.
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
Randomize
