Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
Worst case scenario, I put a giant cork in your vagina so you don't give birth before my birthday
I tried to open a bottle of wine with toenail clippers last night. So this morning was obviously rough.
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
It's a long story, but I accidentally peed on my dog. I'll tell you about it tomorrow, and we shall never tell my wife.
I FEEL LIKE HILARY MUST FEEL WHEN TRUMP MANSPLAINS AT HER
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
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