he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
I walked out of the bedroom naked holding a used condom only to be greeted by half of my family. Happy birthday mom
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
It's a long story, but I accidentally peed on my dog. I'll tell you about it tomorrow, and we shall never tell my wife.
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
Randomize
