Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
He said he'd prefer a photo rather than discuss politics, I sent him a snapchat "conservative shorts 4 conservative man". He said "be liberal"
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
Randomize
