If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
New guy at work just gave me a Percocet for my headache. Officially best friends
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
Randomize
