I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
Randomize
