Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
I may have unintentionally punched your cat twice but he's an asshole anyway.
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
I pretty much just wake up, masturbate at least twice, and go to the beach. #Unemployed. I do look for jobs in between all that tho.
Never let your siblings swipe right.
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
Randomize
