We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
Whoever said drinking more helps a hangover didn't drink 96% of a fifth of whiskey last night. This is absurd.
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up.
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
...I can smell the alcohol on your breath through that text
Super awkward when the coworker you made out with in exchange for molly last weekend keeps coming over to your cube and trying to talk to you
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
Randomize
