i wish peter jackson would direct porn
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
When you get up and look at yourself in the mirror, don't be alarmed. The doctor assured us last night that it looked way worse than it actually was and there won't be a scar when the stitches come out
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
Randomize