wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
MY GOD DAMN TV STOPS WORKING EVERY TIME I AM THIS FUCKING HIGH. WHY MUST IT TORMENT ME?!
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
Like seriously how stupid drunk do you have to get befor you start finding dolphin lighters and shit in your undergarments
tell me about the eggs
Randomize
