Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
He told me his condom was going to expire tomorrow and he needed to use it. I can't believe I fell for it.
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
After throwing up in a tequila bottle on my nightstand (still not sure how she did that) she asked if she could slip into something more comfortable.
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
My theory is if i keep drinking, evolution will kick in and I will grow a bigger, faster, and more improved liver by January.
Randomize
