So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
I just saw a commercial that said "call your doctor if erections last more than 4 hours". I said "disgusting" and my mom said "I know, i hate when that happens." Get me out of here.
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
Hey. Did I get punched in the face last night?
Yeah. I told you I would and you didn't believe me.
Randomize
