ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
you handed the cop a condom last night and said "it's all about protect and serve right?"
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
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