Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
Michael Bay diarrhea
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
Whatever, the fact of the matter is that I saved you from poorly planned outdoor sex by doing a rain dance and you should totally thank me.
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
I had to replace her wine with red vitamin water. So if she’s alive, you can thank me
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
Randomize
