id be glad to
where does the pee come out of this thing
Apparently I ran up to the group of cookie-cutter blonde chicks and screamed "Delta Gamma Nuuuuuuu!" really excitedly and tried to hug them and share fake sorority stories with them.
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
I feel like I got hit by a truck. Or a baby dinosaur. One of them ran over my body and then stuck me in a blender of fire and storm clouds
"It's not a date, we're just spending the entire day at a concert and then getting high together." Awesome.
You have found the Promised Land of friend zones
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
Randomize
