god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
Some guy wearing a horse mask just knocked on my door and started whinnying. I opened the door and he was like, "...oh sorry, wrong room..." so awk.
My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine.
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
You were spooning an empty magnum of white wine in the middle of the bed so I slept on the couch
Well at least there's no more confusion about your place in my life. Wine > pizza > your dick > the rest of you.
Love you...
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
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