then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
Seriously, I would hit on barney the dinosaur right now if it meant I was going to get laid.
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
Randomize
