Remind me to tell you the Scottish bar story tomorrow
Remind me to tell you it was a shitty story when you're done telling it tomorrow
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
He left his own bachelor party to bring me weed. Then smoked with me. Tell me I'm not his favorite-ex-friends-with-benefits.
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
Randomize
