Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
When I die, I want you to spread my ashes at a Cracker Barrel.
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
There's even glitter on my cock...
Randomize
