mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
all but 2 of were put on probation for disorderly conduct. i know, visiting a hospital when your drunk is really stupid but it seemed like such a good idea at the time
swear to god, "it seemed like a good idea at the time" is gonna be on your epitaph
I mean how do you tell a nurse in the ER that you dislocated your knee giving a blowjob to your boyfriend.
Very innocently.
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
Because you failed to stop the wedding, now I have to be a homewrecker. My eternal damnation is on your head I hope you're proud.
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
Randomize