i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
The stoned girl at the dining hall just handed me a single chicken wing and insisted that she's "unable to procure more rations"
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
Randomize
