wanna go halves on a baby?
Thanks for the three minutes of sex tonight.
he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
Randomize
