About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
Just toasted a glass of brandy with my own reflection to my dimples. Why are you not here?
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
I figured out why I insisted on leaving my sweater on the ground outside. I smelled it and I'm 97% sure I peed on it last night
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
I left after he drunkenly went into the kitchen and started to make eggs with a shitload of garlic. First time I'd ever had a makeout session interrupted by eggs.
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
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