my professor just told me i smelt like a brewery infront of my whole class b4 my final presentation
Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
I need vodka and champagne for my new favorite drink, vodkapagne. Alternative spellings are "vodkapain" and "vom-machine"
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
I was on top for a full on make out when in dead silence "I'm moaning Myrtle" came from the TV. Moment ruined. I got cock blocked by a fictional ghost
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
Randomize
