Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
There are so many birds around me. And squirrels. I feel like that chick from Enchanted...but like if she had a dick and made poor life decisions.
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
I never thought that at some point in my life I would end up in the back of a cop car dressed as Pumba #HakunaMatata
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
Randomize
