So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
Found my sandals in your freezer this morning, THANKS
The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
She's walking around topless with a bottle of red wine, crying and singing showtune ballads. This is actually an improvement.
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
Randomize
