my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
I've replaced the bottom of the food pyramid with alcohol.
were you wearing a green and blue thong last night?
yes! wait why?
because i found it in my pocket this morning...
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
Just went trick or treating in my kitchen. Found chocolate and scotch. Happy fucking Halloween
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Randomize
