D3 body, D1 cock
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
I Pavlov-trained him by smacking him in the nuts anytime I caught him looking at another girl in public. To this day, he's afraid to break eye contact with me in a restaurant if a tall busty blonde walks in.
Zak is like the Picasso of masterbatory texts
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
Who are you, and why are you in my phone as Elf on the Shelf
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
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