apparently the secret to your success is patron
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
All I need is a morbidly obese man masturbating at the other end of the car and I'll complete the CTA Horror Trifecta.
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
Randomize