I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
Apparently oprah and I were in competition to see who's ass could get bigger this summer
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
Right as the plane left the gate the brownies kicked in. I dont think the guy next to me appreciated my engine noises as we took off
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
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