A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
he puts the penis in happiness.
They told me I spent half the night at the club with one ball hanging out my shorts. Apparently it got me 1 free drink, 2 numbers, and thrown out.
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
My STD test came back clean. I'd like to thank all the guys I've slept with, they made this possible. I want to say thanks to all my friends, for believing in me living up to the full slut potential. And last but not least, I'd like to thank alcohol. I wouldn't be who I am today w/out you. I feel like I need to frame this...
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
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