She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
Can someone please explain where the fish in the mason jar came from when we were at a bar all night?
You told the bartender if he gave you one of the fish you'd go away
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
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