how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
My tinder date had to be home by 8:30 cause she's on house arrest.
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
Randomize
