we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
I should show up to the gym drunk more often. I felt like i really motivated all the fat people.
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
Randomize
