I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
it's a shame restraining orders have to come between me and my relationships
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
Also I hooked up with a trainer at my gym. Between her, the married chick, and the bartender, my life is becoming a bad porn plot.
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
Randomize
