she looked like the bat from fern gully.
He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
She introduced herself as 'Ann the sober one.' Took me to a coat check and a lost and found. Then offered coffee and breakfast sandwiches. Turns out she's been paying her half of the electric bill running post-party operations.
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
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