No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
I'm exhausted and I have velveeta stuck in my teeth
Did you eat out Derrek's girlfriend again?
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
Last night I got drunk on margaritas at an Irish pub and came home with only one shoe. I have to get my shit together.
You really know how to show Monday who's boss.
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
Randomize