wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
the best thing about long term relationship is that the fact that i bothered to shave my legs today counts as a valentines gift
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
So she was on top of my phone and somehow called my roommate while I banged her. I picked up and he congratulated me. I was with his sister. I will take this to my grave.
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
Randomize
