I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
Breaking up as roommates was a poor life decision. I'm sorry. Thank you for never shitting on the floor.
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
Remember when you laughed that I downloaded a “fireplace” station on my Roku? I just woke up butt naked on my couch with my fireplace station playing. So there, guess that shows you. Now excuse me while I go back to sleep in front of my fireplace.
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