you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
Just read my long term horoscope. I'm not gonna get laid for another 2 years.
I woke up on the toilet with my feet gorilla glued to the floor, cake and makeup on my face and my hand glued to my head.
Welcome to the world of vodka. Rule #1: NEVER PASS OUT. Happy 21st
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
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