Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
are you so shy because you have an std?
Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
My cousins just decided to make a catapult to spread my Grandpa's cremated remains. I love my family.
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
Randomize
