I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
Yeah well I just ate cereal out of a muffin pan with a fork. I'll flip a coin as to who has to tackle that pile of dishes we've neglected for 3 weeks.
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
Grandma and I are gonna see the new Tarzan movie, because we both appreciate shirtless Swedish men
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