So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
You fell asleep mid blowjob with my vibrator in your HAND. So no, I will not bring you pizza.
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
Randomize