Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
Just want you to know I am def drunk enough to burn down your house. Don't worry I checked the stove like 6 times. I love grilled cheese
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
Look, you don't know disfunction until you've sat on the john taking a shit and crying while totally sober.
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
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