I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
organizing the empties. That sober.
Too many sundays start with me waking up still drunk in my car.
He texted me saying that his mom found my nuva ring in their jacuzzi filter. I don't think I'm welcome back anytime soon.
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
PANTIES FOUND
Randomize
