It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
Which genius got me a voicemail of myself puking?
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag.
Do you remember me making bird noises at the bartender with some guy at the bar last night?
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
I knew I wanted to marry her when we got in that bar fight and she full-nelsoned a guy while I worked his kidneys. I knew then we had to breed
I'm about 40% drunk. You know, not drunk enough to light the bar on fire, but drunk enough to let the cougar hit on me.
Randomize
