Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
I just got hit in the face by an old lady love handle.
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
Randomize
