Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
My idiot ex texted me on Valentine's day to tell me I was right, he did need a therapist.
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
So it turns out high me is very efficient. I set 5 alarms to remind me to do things, i made mac and cheese, and i wrote a poem. I'm going places.
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
Randomize
