Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
So... my daughter's new girlfriend Is the daughter of the girl I dated on and off in college Who ran away because she got pregnant at my house party. My Legitimate daughter Is probably fucking my Illegitimate daughter...
Randomize
