You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
i have the juiciest gold medal in my pants
Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
remind me to get a blood sugar test this week. I'm pretty sure I'm a mojito away from diabetes.
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
He unbuckled his belt, tipped his hat at me, then told me to "saddle up"
this is like your 5th cowboy right? where do you keep finding these guys?!!
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
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