what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
Just told my dad about my heroic mailbox showdown. He looked at me strange. I think he thinks I'm high.
You are high.
Randomize
