I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
I'm promoting my liver to CEO of my body cause it clearly works harder than anything else.
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
I literally forgot every French word I knew and blurted out “mange moi” so he went down on me like I was some baguette fresh outta the oven!!!! I passed out.
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
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