Do you have swine flu?
I know my taste in men is not always top notch; however, I don't sleep with swine.
Pigs, yes. Swine, no.
What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
He said I was the "egg mcmuffin" of blowjobs. I'm flattered.
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
Randomize
