Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
New plan: we get a little bit drunk and go to 24 hour fitness and be eachothers wing people so we can hit on in shape hot people at a gym instead of drunk idiots at a bar.
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
In the morning when you read your texts, just fyi you showed up at my house drunk off your ass and shoe less and demanded I go to the bar. You need Jesus.
What is the proper Father's Day protocol when you're sleeping with a guy who has kids?
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
I just racked up a fucking ginormous hospital bill because I came so hard I had an asthma attack
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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