i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
new low: just stole a ciggarette from a bum sleeping on the side of the street.
ohh what kind?
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
So, you didn't have time to come pick me up but you did have time to get plastered and then write "champagne money" on every one of my statuses for the past month?
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
I'm hiding out in the living room until he falls back asleep. If he catches a whiff of my tits, it's all over. I just need to play it cool. Babies can smell fear
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
She couldn't understand why my walking in on her 70 year old parents ruined any chance of a boner for at least an hour. I think she's too slow for me to fornicate with.
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
Randomize
