I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
I just saw a hot homeless man
just went to get groceries. a cashier said she saw me last night. i guess i carried a broom back from the party and swept the street the whole walk back...and i claimed to be in the cast of wicked
He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.
Wtf? What happened?
Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
Randomize
