so that wasnt chicken after all
If Billy Mays did an infomercial on your dick, it still wouldn't get you laid.
First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
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