what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
I want to figure out a way to work "if you suddenly die, I might turn into an extreme hoarders" into my valentines day poem
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
Randomize
