I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
Beat the bartender in a shot challenge for a free tab. I won that, and him. I never get tired of the "this is my first time with a guy.." bullshit.
How do you even...
The magic of Christmas. And whiskey, of course.
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
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