You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
Most the numbers in my phone are mistakes. It's a virtual graveyard of people I should never pick up for.
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
Do you recall asking me to zip line through your wedding dressed as a bleeding angel?
Randomize
