and the officer said have you been drinking
and i said NOO SIR.
and he said, I am a woman.
Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
Don't text me when you know I'm doing lines on my phone
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
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